WHERE WAS GOD AT THE NEWTOWN MASSACRE?

I have heard so many people ask this question ... there are so many different and unique responses.  Quite a range, not surprisingly so.  Through the various answers are the apparent differences in how one embraces their particular "religion" or faith stance.  No one, however, really HAS the answer to this question.  

I am reminded of the book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People", written by a Rabbi (I can't remember the name) and read so many years ago midst a personal tragedy.  I can't remember if it helped me make sense of things at the time, but strangely, it did help me turn inward and question my own faith.   I am not Jewish, but Christian, though the distinction doesn't really matter.  It made me think, really think hard, about my personal beliefs and examine what "faith" really means to me.  

I tend to spend too much time "in my head" as has been pointed out to me many times, which led me to self reflect how this impacts my world view and ultimately my spirituality.  It is "safer" to be there, seeking logical answers to illogical events.  What it only added (and adds) to is personal frustration.  I want answers!  If God really loves us, first why would He let such things happen and second, why wouldn't He help us understand WHY?  It took me a while to conclude that if He DID do so, where would that leave us regarding our "faith"?  

Why would we even have to HAVE faith if He supplied all the answers?  Things would happen, we would be given the  explanation and on we'd go in life.  We'd never have to self reflect, question each other's intentions or ultimately, feel compelled to talk with each other about our feelings of doubt, fear, loneliness, or host of other emotions we'd just as soon never feel.  We wouldn't have to, gulp, develop trust  in anyone, because God would provide the answers!  

How many of us have truly stopped to think about how our lives would be different if this were truly the case?  At some level, I think what we ASSUME would happen is who or whatever caused a tragedy would be identified, the motive explained, why God allowed it to happen and swift punishment would reign down on the offender and we could all go on.  

BUT, when we ask the question, "why would God let something like this happen", when a horrific event occurs, do we really WANT the answer?  What would we DO with it?  Disagree with God?  Get angry with God?  Stop believing in God?  Because, if all the answers to bad things happening in life were immediately supplied to us, what would the meaning of life BE?  What would we need each other for? EVER?  Why would anyone risk anything, challenge anything, try to gain wisdom, care about and for anyone else?  All we would need is, ourselves and GOD!  We're born, things happen, we're told why and who is responsible, and God takes care of it.  Well wouldn't that just be peachy keen?  No one would NEED each other, have to TRUST one another, LEAN on one another, SACRIFICE for another, feel PAIN for another ... we'd be nice little robots going about taking care of this earth (not each other) in anticipation of LEAVING it and go be with God.  Which of course wouldn't seem as inviting if all the things in life we question were already answered.

I can't imagine what the families' in Newtown are experiencing, how deep their devastation is, or how they are possibly coping.  But, as far as I understand, they are?  But how you say, HOW??  I sure don't have the answer and God hasn't told any of us either.  But I suspect, just suspect mind you, that it has something to do with trusting, loving, sacrificing and walking through the pain TOGETHER!  What a novel idea?  Not really for me ... it is the cornerstone of my personal faith.  That what God intended and tries to teach us all, in the whole world, is that we need each other to survive.  That what "life" IS, is relationships.  It really isn't about what we do, what we have materially, what we have achieved, etc., though these are important facets in life ... it is about WHO we have in our lives and our interactions with same that gives life meaning.  We aren't robots sent to earth to keep it nice and tidy, functioning in all ways to meet the needs of God ... NO, we are mortal people, given the "gift" of life in our relationships with EACH OTHER!  To love and grow and experience the full gamut of feelings we are innately given at birth.  That means, the pain and agony of defeat, the celebration and thrill of accomplishment, the truths and falsehoods of our vulnerabilities ... but through it all, it's the "going through it" together, hand in hand, side by side, no matter what, that gives us the strength to wake up each day to each other, with the loving hand of God to guide  and strengthen us through it all.  What a gift.  His grace and love, there but for the taking.  I trust those in Newtown are taking all they can and vicariously I send to them, all the compassion and love possible through the spiritual air from my town to theirs.

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